Do soulmates exist? What psychology, faith and belief each say

Do soulmates exist? It depends on what you mean by the word. If a soulmate is someone you share a rare, deep connection with, built on understanding and acceptance, then yes: people form those bonds all the time, with partners and with friends. If a soulmate is one person made for you before you were born, then no one can prove it either way. That is a belief, held by a large share of Americans and shaped differently by different faiths. This guide sets out what psychologists say, what the major religions teach, and how you can hold both views at once.

The short answer

As a relationship, soulmates exist. As a cosmic fact, they cannot be tested.

Psych Central, in a medically reviewed article, puts the scientific side simply: “The notion of soulmates does not have scientific support.” That is not the same as saying soulmates are fake. It means science has no way to check whether a particular person was meant for you, in the same way it cannot check most claims about fate. What researchers can study is what believing in soulmates does to people, and that turns out to be the more interesting question.

What people mean by “soulmate”

The word is newer than it sounds. Merriam-Webster traces the earliest known use of “soul mate” to an 1822 letter from the poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge, and defines a soulmate as “a close friend or romantic partner with whom one has a unique deep connection based on mutual understanding and acceptance.” Nothing in that definition says there is only one, or that it was arranged in advance.

The older picture people carry comes from Plato’s Symposium, where the playwright Aristophanes tells a myth of humans split in two, each “always looking for his other half.” Plato never used the word soulmate, and the story is a character’s, not the author’s. Still, it is where the “one other half” idea comes from, and it is the version most people are asking about. Our guide to types of soulmates shows how modern writers have since stretched the word to cover friends, teachers and brief encounters too.

What psychology says

Destiny beliefs and growth beliefs

The research that matters most here is not about whether soulmates exist but about what believing in them does. In February 2026 the BBC reported on a line of studies that separates two sets of beliefs. Psychologists call the first “destiny beliefs,” “the idea that the right relationship should feel effortless,” and the second “growth beliefs,” which “focus on what partners can do to make things work.”

According to the BBC, studies led by C. Raymond Knee at the University of Houston in the late 1990s and early 2000s found that people who believed relationships were “meant to be” were far more likely to doubt their commitment after conflict, while growth-minded people tended to stay committed even on days they argued. Psych Central describes a related finding: people who hold a soulmate view “have greater relationship satisfaction if - and only if - they feel they found the right person.” It also says that “neither model of relationships is inherently better.”

So believing in soulmates is not harmful in itself. It seems to work well when the relationship feels right, and to make rough patches harder to read.

Becoming each other’s soulmate

Several psychologists turn the question around. Writing in Psychology Today in 2012, psychologist Shauna Springer said she did not believe in “finding your perfectly matched soul mate,” but that “we can become each other’s soul mates as the result of a deep and lasting love relationship.” Florida therapist Connie Ingram, quoted by AARP’s The Ethel, puts it the same way: “If there are soulmates, perhaps that is because they have grown into it as they go through the mountains and valleys of life together.”

Jason Carroll, a professor of marriage and family studies at Brigham Young University, told the BBC: “A soulmate is just simply found. It’s already pre-made. But a one and only is something two people carve out together over years.” In this view the word describes where a relationship can arrive, not where it starts.

Many possible partners, not one

If there were exactly one right person, the odds of meeting them would be tiny. Economists have tried to model the question. The BBC describes a paper by Greg Leo, an economist at Vanderbilt University, called “Matching Soulmates,” in which thousands of simulated daters rank each other. In his simulations, it was extremely rare for two people to be each other’s first choice, but many people ended up with a second or third pick. The BBC’s summary: “there are many viable partners, not just The One.”

A simulation is not a life, and it cannot rule out fate. It does show why most researchers talk about good matches in the plural.

When intensity feels like fate

One more finding is worth knowing, because it touches the moments when people feel most sure. London love coach Vicki Pavitt told the BBC: “When there is a lot of chemistry and the spark, I think that can sometimes be about opening old unhealthy patterns, like old wounds.” She describes a pull toward someone that feels like destiny but is really familiarity with something that hurt before, a pattern therapists call a trauma bond. An instant, overwhelming connection can be the start of something good. It can also be a signal to slow down. Our twin flame vs soulmate guide looks at how psychologists describe these intense, fated-feeling bonds.

How many people believe in soulmates

Plenty. In a 2011 Marist Poll of 1,018 US adults, 73 percent said they believed in the idea of soul mates, “two people who are destined to be together.” Belief was highest among adults under 30, at 80 percent. That is old data, and we did not find a newer poll with the same question, but it is enough to say the belief is mainstream, not fringe.

What religions say

The word “soulmate” is modern, so none of the old scriptures uses it. Each faith has its own ideas about love and destiny, and each has a range of views within it. What follows describes, and does not rule on, those teachings.

Christianity and the Bible

The Bible has no word for soulmate. The verse most often quoted on marriage is Genesis 2:24: “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh” (NIV). It describes two people becoming one, not two halves finding each other. On destiny, Christian writing is divided. Many writers believe God can reveal a future spouse, and point to biblical stories such as Isaac’s wife being found through prayer in Genesis 24. Most of the writers we read also say that this is not the usual way, and caution that strong feelings can be mistaken for God’s voice. Our article on what your future husband will look like covers how some believers pray about it.

Islam

The Quran speaks of spouses as a sign of God: “He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy” (Quran 30:21, Sahih International). On destiny, a 2013 answer by Ustadha Raidah Shah Idil for SeekersGuidance says that “Allah has already written the provision for every soul on this earth, including whom we marry,” so in that sense those destined to marry “do have a ‘soulmate.’” She adds that this “does not mean that one’s soulmate guarantees one worldly bliss,” since even a loving spouse is a test of patience.

A hadith in Sahih Muslim (2638) is often quoted on the question of recognition: “Souls are troops collected together and those who familiarised with each other (in the heaven from where these come) would have affinity, with one another (in the world).” It speaks of affinity between souls in general, not only between spouses.

Hinduism

In a Hindu wedding, the couple performs the Saptapadi, Sanskrit for “taking together seven steps”: they take seven steps or seven rounds around a sacred fire, with one vow for each. Many Hindu families speak of the bond formed this way as lasting for seven lifetimes, “saat janam,” a belief described in wedding guides and personal essays alike. Traditions vary by region and family, and this is a popular belief rather than a single doctrine.

Spiritual and New Age views

Outside organized religion, spiritual writers often describe soulmates as souls who have met before, in past lives, and who recognize each other on meeting. mindbodygreen, in an article it says covers “popular beliefs about soulmates within spiritual communities,” lists signs such as an instant connection and a sense of recognizing each other’s souls. These are beliefs, and many people find them meaningful. They are not something anyone can verify.

Can two souls recognize each other?

This is one of the questions people ask most, and it gets two kinds of answer. The spiritual answer is yes: many traditions describe a feeling of having known someone before, and the hadith above is one old expression of it. The psychological answer is that the feeling is real, but its cause is open. Psych Central notes that “attraction and the desire to seek a relationship may start at first sight,” and cites a 2022 review of how the brain responds to faces people find attractive. The same quick pull can come from a genuine match or, as Pavitt warns, from something familiar that is not good for you.

A fair way to hold both: let the sense of recognition get your attention, then let time tell you what it was.

A way to hold both answers

You do not have to choose between romance and evidence. Here is one way people reconcile them:

1. Keep the word for what you can see. Call someone a soulmate for how you are together: understood, accepted, more yourself.
2. Treat fate as a feeling, not a fact. “This feels meant to be” is a lovely thing to feel. It is not a reason to ignore how someone treats you.
3. Expect rough patches. The research on destiny and growth beliefs suggests that the people who do best still want something special but expect it to take work.
4. Allow for more than one. Friends, partners and family can all fit the dictionary definition.

If you are wondering about timing rather than existence, when will I meet my soulmate looks at what quizzes, astrology and the data can and cannot say.

Where a portrait fits

A portrait of your soulmate does not settle whether soulmates exist, and ours does not claim to. It is a way to picture the kind of person you are drawn to. The Soulmate Studio asks seven quick questions about what draws you to someone, where you feel at home and where your heart is now, plus your birthday (month and day only). You get one portrait in our signature pencil-sketch style and a short reading. The face is imagined, not predicted, and it is not a real person; it is for entertainment and reflection.

It is $19, paid once, no subscription, delivered by email, usually within minutes and always within 24 hours. See a sample reading, or start your sketch when you are ready.